HERE I AM: The Bible, Disney Movies, & Answering the Call
Some time later God tested Abraham. He said to him, “Abraham!”
“Here I am,” he replied.
— Genesis 22:1
I’m reading the Bible for the first time (!). I’m 31 years old and I’m reading the Bible. I didn’t think I would ever read it. I’m not Christian. I wasn’t raised a Christian. My only experience with the Bible when I was younger was when my family stayed at a hotel and they had one in the bedside drawer (how did that start?). But I never read it.
And now I am. (And I’ve been hanging out at a church a lot — but that’s a story for another day.)
I used to have no interest in reading the Bible and now I feel late to the game. Late, as in I would have liked to read it sooner. I’m actually surprised we don’t read it in grade school. I went to a public school and we didn’t even discuss it, let alone read it. Separation of church and state I guess? We read Shakespeare. It seemed important that we do because of the impact and influence of his writings. But the impact of Shakespeare on Western culture doesn’t hold a candle to the impact of the Bible (sorry, William) — that’s just obvious right?
Anyways, I’m reading the Bible. I haven’t gotten far — just through Genesis (the first book of the Bible) and already a couple things stood out.
First, this is not easy reading. The Bible is not exactly a page-turner (neither is Shakespeare in my opinion).
Second, how short some of the famous stories are. Big, famous stories, ones that I’ve actually heard about are sometimes only sentences long. The whole story of Adam and Eve is barely a full page. Cain and Abel is 3 paragraphs. And the Tower of Babel is like 2 sentences.
Third, Abraham’s response to God calling on him. He says, “Here I am.”
Right now, I want to talk about that last one. Well, write about it.
For those who haven’t read the Bible, which is most people I know, here’s a little background on the Abraham story…
Abraham is the common patriarch of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. He was a descendant of Noah (famous for the flood). He and his two brothers were born in Ur of the Chaldeans, which is modern day Iraq. He married a woman named Sarah who was unable to have a child. One of his brothers died in Ur before his family set off for Harran. They settled there and his father died. Then God calls on him.
God calls on him and — without knowing the ask — Abraham stands up and says, “Here I am.”
Wow.
God — the Universe, Source, Spirit, Energy, the Divine — calls on him. It’s a call from the beyond. Beyond what is known and established and safe and secure and predictable. A call into the unknown.
All that and he says “Here I am.”
(Actually, in the original Bible he didn’t say that because it wasn’t in English. It was in Hebrew. He said, “Hineini” — הִנֵּֽנִי — pronounced hee-NAY-nee), which translates as “Here I am.” Hineini is the joining of two words: hineh and ani, meaning here and I.)
“Here I am.”
It’s like a badass Biblical “Let’s do this.”
Or a giant “YES.”
Back in 2017, my partner Jessica and I moved into a beautiful 2 bedroom apartment in downtown San Diego. We signed a 1 year lease and given that we didn’t own any furniture, we went out and furnished the whole place. I had been working at a consulting firm for several years. I liked the team, I liked the work, and I was paid well. I was comfortable and happy.
3 months after moving into the new place, I was on a flight to a client’s office in Canada, reading a book, minding my own business. When out of nowhere a very clear thought popped into my head: “It’s time to do something totally different with your life.” Huh? What? “It’s time to do something totally different.” Like what? No thanks! I’m happy here. My life is on a good track. No change needed. And besides, I just signed a lease! I just furnished this apartment! Then again: “It’s time to do something totally different.” God? Universe? Hello? My own crazy mind? How could I be sure? But the call was undeniable.
Disney movies are so good at portraying the call. Every one of their movies starts out by setting the scene, all seems secure and predictable for the main character, and then comes the call. (By the way, next time you watch a Disney movie try watching it from the perspective of the hero’s journey — the call to adventure, the early challenges and triumphs, the ultimate challenge, the ultimate victory, and the return home.)
Maybe you’ve seen Moana? Moana is called to travel beyond the protective reef.
Or Coco? Miguel is called to become a musician.
Star Wars? Luke Skywalker is called to help save Princess Leia.
The call is a beautiful idea. A wonderful concept. But not exactly our idea of a good time. Change (and death — but isn’t death just change?) is probably what we fear most as human beings. Leaving our current circumstances is always a risk. Most of us would rather stay in bad circumstances than take the risk. Who knows — maybe the risk will mean even worse circumstances!
How many times does God — the Universe, Source, Spirit — call on us and we refuse? We’re too busy. We’re too comfortable. We’re too rich. We’re too narrow. We’re too scared. We’re too tired. So we refuse the call. We stay where we are.
Moana stays on the island and is trained to become the next chief.
Miguel stays at home and is stuck secretly playing his guitar in the attic.
Luke Skywalker’s refusal is the best. Him and Obi-Wan have just finished watching the transmission video of Princess Leia which ended with: “This is our most desperate hour. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope.” This is our most desperate hour (!). Let’s see how Luke responds.
[Transmission video ends]
Obi-Wan: You must learn the ways of the Force if you’re to come with me to Alderaan.
Luke: (laughing) Alderaan? I’m not going to Alderaan. I’ve got to go home. It’s late, I’m in for it as it is.
Obi-Wan: I need your help, Luke. She needs your help. I’m getting too old for this sort of thing.
Luke: I can’t get involved! I’ve got work to do! It’s not that I like the Empire. I hate it! But there’s nothing I can do about it right now. It’s such a long way from here.
Luke can’t help save the galaxy in its most desperate hour. He has to go home! It’s late! He has work to do! Sound like anyone you know? Maybe it sounds like you? I know I’ve been there. “Nope, can’t help, I have work to do!”
We refuse the call.
We say “No.”
God calls us — the Universe, Source, Spirit calls us — and let’s be honest we rarely say “Here I am.” No. We hide. We run. “Sorry, not right now. Gotta go! Bye!”
Fear. Worry. Panic. Dread. Whatever the emotion is, we allow it to stop the call.
Just like Jonah did. You know Jonah? The one who got swallowed by the whale?
I haven’t read that far in the Bible yet, but I skipped ahead and read his story (I know, kind of bad of me right?). Here’s how the Book of Jonah starts:
The word of the Lord came to Jonah son of Amittai: “Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me.”
But Jonah ran away from the Lord and headed for Tarshish.
He went down to Joppa, where he found a ship bound for that port. After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from the Lord.
Then he was swallowed by a giant fish.
He ran from his destiny.
Have you ever met someone who ran from their destiny? They’re still walking around like they’re trapped inside a giant metaphorical fish? Dark, cold, wet. No oxygen, no food, no life, just kind of flopping around from one thing to the next. Yeah, not a pretty sight.
Maybe Jonah was afraid of the unknown? He didn’t know what traveling to Nineveh would lead to. Maybe he was afraid he would fail? That he wouldn’t be good enough for the task at hand? (Have you ever been called to something big and then your next thought is “I’m not good enough for that”? Yeah me neither.)
The famous psychologist Abraham Maslow (you may know him from Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs) has an interesting take on the Jonah story. He didn’t think that Jonah was running from fear of not being enough. No. Maslow says Jonah was running from — get this — running from fear of his own greatness. Fear. Of. His. Own. Greatness. Whatttttt.
He called it the Jonah Complex.
Running from your own greatness.
Look what he says:
“We fear our highest possibilities…We are generally afraid to become that which we glimpse in our most perfect moments, under the most perfect conditions, under the conditions of greatest courage. We enjoy and even thrill to godlike possibilities we see in ourselves in such peak moments. And yet we simultaneously shiver with weakness, awe, and fear before these very same possibilities.”
Maslow would ask his students which of them will write the next great novel, be the next great composer or world leader.
“Generally, everybody starts giggling, blushing, and squirming until I ask, ‘If not you, then who?’…If you deliberately plan to be less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you’ll be deeply unhappy for the rest of your life. You will be evading your own capacities, your own possibilities.”
Refuse the call? Run from your destiny? Run from your own capacities and possibilities? You’ll be deeply unhappy. Miserable. There’s no way around it. Kind of like being trapped in a giant fish.
Maslow is pointing at the cost of refusing the call. There were costs to Jonah running. There were costs to Moana, Miguel, and Luke.
Sometimes we’re aware of the cost, sometimes we’re not.
But I’m afraid it gets worse than running. (It’ll get darker here, but I promise there is light at the end of the tunnel!).
It gets worse than refusing the call.
What could be worse?
Not
Hearing
It
At
All.
What’s worse is missing the call entirely. Not even knowing the call came in.
“Huh? What call?”
“Save the galaxy? What? No one asked me to do that.”
Maybe you were too busy checking social media that you missed it. Too occupied with weekend plans. Too focused on the latest Netflix special. Too angry about the promotion you didn’t get. Too upset with the 5 pounds you didn’t lose. Too depressed you’re still single. Too anxious about what other people think of you. Too much noise. Too much mental chatter. Too much in the way.
You can’t refuse a call you didn’t know came in.
You can’t read a sign when you’re driving 120 miles an hour.
You can’t hear a whisper at a rock concert.
How many times have you missed the call?
Don’t know. You can’t know. It already came and went.
How could you miss it?
This gets into the nature of the call. Because I don’t think the call is a booming voice coming down from the heavens, it’s more like a whisper coming up from your heart.
As Jiminy Cricket says to Pinnochio, it is that “still small voice people won’t listen to.”
The call isn’t a booming voice? I used to think that’s how God spoke — that’s how the call worked. But not anymore.
In the Book of Kings (I skipped ahead again in the Bible), the prophet Elijah has just run away from Sinai for fear of being killed. He ends up exhausted and alone in a mountain cave. Then God speaks to him.
“Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the Lord told him. And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave.
Not in the wind. Not in the earthquake. Not in the fire.
In a gentle whisper. (!)
Makes you reflect, doesn’t it?
Wait around for a booming voice and you miss all the whispers.
Moana’s grandmother, who is also a sort of shaman, warns her in the opening song not to miss that voice.
Mind what he says but remember
You may hear a voice inside
And if the voice starts to whisper
To follow the farthest star
Moana, that voice inside
Is who you are
Pinnochio. The Bible. Moana. Have you seen Frozen 2 yet? Same thing.
The call can be so quiet, so small, such a whisper, that we need to be open to even know it comes in. To hear it we need to be quiet ourselves. We need to have slowed down. We need to be present and open and aware. You need to be present and open and aware.
Open your senses.
Open your mind.
Open your being.
When you close those off you implicitly say “No” to the call, usually without even knowing it.
When you open those up you say “Yes.” You invite the call. You invite possibility. You invite adventure.
Part of what makes the Disney stories so beautiful and compelling is that they all eventually heed the call. Moana sails beyond the protective reef to save her tribe. Miguel travels into the Land of the Dead to become a musician and rescue his family. Luke learns about the Force and goes to save Princess Leia.
They all stood up and said, “Here I am.” I will answer the call.
God called and Abraham stood up and said, “Here I am.”
In 2017, I said, “Here I am.” I finished that work flight to Canada. I gave it a couple days to make sure that the message to do something totally different was still alive and burning — which it was. So that Monday I put in my resignation. I didn’t know what was next. I didn’t know what I was meant to do. I had a lease and bills and prior plans. It felt like stepping into nothing. It’s strange how stepping into a “Yes” can sometimes be stepping into nothing. It wasn’t nothing like a black pit. It was more like a blank canvas. And despite the fear and uncertainty, I stepped in. And over time things began to emerge. Travel plans. A book. Photography. Another book. More travel. New adventures. New struggles. New communities. New projects. And I’m left here with a new heart and a new mind. Not perfect. But transformed. Altered. New. And open. Open to the next call. Open to the next whisper.
We have to heed the call. For ourselves, for our family, for our communities, for society. And for God, for the Universe, for Source.
…for God? What does God care? What does the Universe care?
Because God also says, “Here I am.”
Check this out from the Book of Isaiah.
Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer;
You shall cry, and He will say, ‘Here I am.’
and it continues:
Then your light will shine out from the darkness,
and the darkness around you will be as bright as noon.
The Lord will guide you continually,
giving you water when you are dry
and restoring your strength.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like an ever-flowing spring.
The Universe is for you. Source is for you. God is for you.
We tend to think of calls as one-way. The sender and the receiver. But the kind of call I’m talking about here is different. It’s two-way. It’s a dialogue. It’s a relationship. You and your destiny. You and God. You and everything.
Don’t take my word for it. Yoda says it all: “For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes. Even between the land and the ship.”
A powerful ally it is.
The Force was there for Luke.
The ocean was there for Moana.
The spirits of his ancestors were there for Miguel.
You can miss the call. You can even refuse it. But the Universe is conspiring for you — for you to respond — for you to say “Yes” — for you to live an incredible, creative, loving life.
Remember Jonah? He ran from his destiny and got stuck in the belly of a giant fish? Well, that wasn’t the end of his story.
There he is stuck inside this wet, cold, dark place. Scared, full of shame and guilt, depressed. And then he surrenders. He stops clinging to fear and he opens his heart and being. He opens up and prays.
I sank beneath the waves,
and the waters closed over me.
Seaweed wrapped itself around my head.
I sank down to the very roots of the mountains.
I was imprisoned in the earth,
whose gates lock shut forever.
But you, O Lord my God,
snatched me from the jaws of death!
As my life was slipping away,
I remembered the Lord.
And my earnest prayer went out to you
in your holy Temple.
God heard him. The Universe heard him. And he was spit out by the fish! Spit out of depression and angst and shame — and born anew. Transformed. Altered. And off to fulfill his destiny.
Just like you.
God, the Universe, Spirit won’t give up on you. You’re not alone. It’s your most powerful ally.
You have the adventure of a lifetime ahead of you.
So the next time you hear a whisper, stand up and say,
“Here I am.”
